This was the theme for last year’s Father’s Day Message!

We can never be reminded enough to look to  The Ultimate Father

Download: http://pastormarkworden.sermon.net/da/2743780

Playback: http://pastormarkworden.sermon.net/da/2743780/play

I could not agree more fully with the following from Desiring God:

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Learning Fatherhood From the Father of Fatherhood

By Tony Reinke | Jun 16, 2012 04:00 am

In Ephesians 3:14–15, Paul prays, “For this reason I bow my knees before the Father [patēr], from whom every family [patria] in heaven and on earth is named.” In the Greek it is easy to pick up on Paul’s patēr/patria play on words. John Stott chose to translate this phrase as “the Father from whom all fatherhood is named.” The ESV translation footnote makes a similar point.

God’s Fatherhood is the archetype of human fatherhood, a point made even more explicit in Hebrews 12:7–10. What that means for us fathers today is that we take our cues on fatherhood from the Father of Fatherhood, which is a great relief for any father today who was fathered by a sinful or absent father (which of course includes every one of us).

But what’s the point of this? In his most recent book, Douglas Wilson focuses one entire chapter (chapter 14) to a verse-by-verse stroll through the Gospel of John, highlighting every reference made to the Father/Son relationship. The book is worth its price for that chapter alone. At the end of his survey Wilson makes this summary observation:

The most obvious feature of the Father of Jesus Christ is His generosity. He is generous with His glory (John 1:14), with His tasks (John 5:18), with His protection (John 10:28–32), with His home (John 14:1–2), and with His joy (John 16:23–24). The Father gives (John 3:34–36). The Father gives His Son (John 3:16; 18:11); the Father gives His Spirit (John 14:16–17); the Father gives Himself (John 14:22–24).

Learning this about the Father who is a Spirit, who is intangible, should stir us deeply. He is seeking worshipers who will worship Him in Spirit and in truth — in short, who will become like He is. And what is He like? He is generous with everything. Is there anything He has that he has held back? And what should we — tangible fathers — be like? The question is terribly hard to answer, but not because it is difficult to understand. (Father Hunger, 204–205)

And that is a good challenge for me as a father because it makes me ask: from all the words that my children could use to describe me, would they choose generous? The answer spurs my attention to my Heavenly Father, the generous Father of all fatherhood.

____________________

Magnifying the Lord Through Fatherhood

These articles were originally written for the “Archer” a homeschooling news letter that we wrote for our church’s homeschooling umbrella school where I served as the principle for a few years (2002-2003).  It is my hope that they might be an encouragement to Father’s who are wanting to raise their children for the Lord.

Introduction:  The need for a  Scriptural foundation for parenting!

Post 1-  Establishing our goal in parenting – Proverbs 22:6

Post 2 – Reaching our goals in parenting – Proverbs 22:6

Post 3 – Teaching our children – Deuteronomy11:18

Post 4- The child’s role in being parented

Post 5 – The Father’s role in parenting – Ephesians 6:4

Post 6 –The Father’s role in parenting – Ephesians 6:4 – Part two

Post 7 -The Mother’s role in parenting – Titus 2:3-5

With prayer,  Mark Worden

Parenting Article 7: The Role of the Mother in the Home

The Privilege of Parenting        Article 7     By Mark R. Worden

Having now briefly covered the role of the child who is being parented, and the role of the father, it is time to address the role of the mother.  I have saved this for last because I feel the least qualified to write on the subject of being a mother.  While I have been a child and I am a father—I can never be a mother.  So I will not comment from my own experience, but from my observations of what the Bible has to say about a mother’s role in the home.   I will let the scripture speak for itself, share a few word studies that will help us understand the passages, and let you ladies make the applications for yourselves.

The Mother’s Role in parenting is to be what the Lord would have her to be in the home.  From 2 passages in the new testament we find 11 characteristics that younger woman are exhorted to have in their lives.

Titus 2:3-5 The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;   4  That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands,  to love their children,   5  [To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own  husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

1.  Sober  – restore one to his senses; to moderate, control, curb, disciple; to hold one to his duty; to admonish, to exhort earnestly

2.  Love their husband

3.  Love their children

4.  Discreet  –        * of a sound mind, sane, in one’s senses

* curbing one’s desires and impulses, self controlled,temperate

5.  Chaste             * exciting reverence, venerable, sacred  * pure from carnality, chaste, modest, immaculate, clean

6.  Keepers at home – From a greek compound word –“House” and “ware” (a guard)

* caring for the house, working at home

*  the (watch or) keeper of the house

*  keeping at home and taking care of household affairs,
a  domestic

(The virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 is a scriptural example.)

7.  Good –             * of good constitution or nature * useful, salutary

8.  Obedient to their own husbands

Obedient: to arrange under, to subordinate; to subject, put in

subjection; to subject one’s self, obey; to submit to one’s

control; to yield to one’s admonition or advice; to obey, be

subject.

A Greek military term meaning “to arrange [troop divisions]

in a military fashion under the command of a leader”. In non-

military use, it was “a voluntary attitude of giving in,

cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden”.

1 Tim 5:14,  “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

9.  Bear children – cf. 1 Timothy 2:15

10.   Guide the house

* To be master (or head) of a house; to rule a household,  Manage family affairs

11.  Give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully-

May the Lord grant the ladies of our church wisdom as they seek to be all that God would have them to be in their homes.

Parenting Article 6: The Father’s Role in Parenting – part two

The Privilege of Parenting              Article 6                        By Mark R. Worden

In the last Archer we began to look at the role of the father by analyzing Ephesians 6:4.  In the first part of the verse one can discern that fathers are to be vitally active in child rearing and also to be cautious and sensitive to the child’s response when disciplining.  Let’s remember and heed what the first part of Ephesians 6:4 says “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath”

Now let’s consider the last part of the verse that says, “But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” From this statement we can first deduce that Fathers are to nurture and provide for their children with tender care. The word translated  “but bring them up” is translated as “nourisheth” in Ephesians 5:29 “For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church.” This brings to light a father’s nurturing role in the home.

Paul’s illustration of his father-like relationship to the Thessalonian believers confirms and elucidates the nurturing role and responsibility of a father.

“As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children.  That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory” (I Thess 2:11-12).

A nurturing father will exhort his children, which has the idea of encouraging them and strengthening them to follow a particular line of conduct that will please the Lord.  A nurturing father will comfort his children which means to encourage and console the feelings so as to aid our children in continuing in a course of life that pleases the Lord.  And finally a nurturing father will charge his children which has the idea of holding them accountable to live lives that our pleasing to the Lord.

Secondly from this phrase, “But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord,” we learn that fathers are to educate or train their children in the things of the Lord. The word translated “nurture” in this verse is translated as instruction in 2 Tim. 3:16, “ All scripture [is] given by inspiration of God, and [is] profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.”  We need to teach our children what is right and then admonish them to do it.  The word “admonition” has both the idea of exhortation or training by words of encouragement when that is sufficient or by reproof or rebuke when required.  By words of encouragement and rebuke a father should help his children to put on wise character and put off foolish character traits.   The Book of Proverbs gives wisdom in understanding the way of wisdom and the way of foolishness, which each child needs to be taught.  The following is just a beginning example of how the book of proverbs can help you to know what to teach your children.

The Wise Course of Life	The Foolish Course of Life
1. Teach the Fear of Lord as the path of wisdom  Pr. 1	Teach concerning the entrapments and consequences of a life lived in worldly wisdom and rebellion to God and parents. Pr. 1:10 -33
2.  Teach concerning the child’s relationship with God. How they are to receive and apply God’s word and seek after wisdom, knowledge and understanding. “If – Then” statements teach the principle of sowing and reaping.  Pr. 2:1-11	2.  Teach concerning the child’s need to be delivered from relationships with evil people and the foolishness of sexual sins.  Pr. 2:12-22
3.  Teach concerning the child’s need to obey and keep their parents instructions. Pr. 6:20, 13:1	3.   Teach the consequences of disobedience. Pr. 15:5

May God grant us fathers the discipline in our own lives to bring our children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Parenting Article 5: The Father’s Role in Parenting

The Privilege of Parenting       Article 5       By Mark R. Worden

Having now covered the child’s role in being parented in the last Archer, it is now time to begin dealing with us fathers. God has a definite role that He wants us to fulfill in being fathers. Ephesians 6:4 seems to clearly outline the father’s role in parenting.

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

I. Fathers are to be vitally active in child rearing.

“And, ye fathers” It is often a common assumption in our culture that fathers take a back seat or supportive roll as the mother raises the children. However, scripture makes it clear that the husband (father) is the head of the wife (mother) (Eph. 5:21-33). The father, therefore, is responsible and should be active in child training. The husband as the head should work with the wife as a team in training the children, remembering that tasks can be delegated but responsibility cannot. It is pointed out specifically in Eph.6:4 that fathers have the responsibility for nurturing their children in the discipline and admonishment of the Lord. Furthermore, if a father seeks the office of deacon or pastor he is to be one who rules his children and house well (I Timothy 3:12). His children are to be faithful, not accused of wasteful living and insubordination (Titus 1:6).

II. Fathers are to be cautious and sensitive to the child’s response when disciplining.

“provoke not your children to wrath:” Verbal or corporal punishment should be done in a way that each child will not respond with a habitual deep-seated anger that causes them to lose heart or be without courage or spirit (discouraged).

Colossians 3:21″Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”

It seems that parents who discipline through teasing unwittingly discourage their children because they never really know what the parent truly is thinking. The parents’ expectations should be clearly explained to the children and also consistently enforced and held up as the standard of right conduct. In our home there are 3 rules of conduct or behavior which serve as the standard measurement of all behavior: Obedience, Honesty and Kindness.

If any behavior breaches one of these standards our child is disciplined. The book of Proverbs gives us wise counsel and understanding concerning the use of the rod in discipline.

A. Proper discipline is an act of the parents’ love for the child and should be done early (betimes – early / earnestly / diligently, or not put off.) It reveals a lack of true love to put discipline off.

Pr 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

B. Proper discipline strives to bring the child back from his natural course of foolishness (sin) to a life that reflects God’s wisdom and truth.

Pr 22:15 Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

C. Proper discipline is a parent’s responsibility and has eternal consequences for the child.

Pr 23:13 -14 Withhold not correction from the child: for [if] thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

Pr 19:18 Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

D. Proper discipline is done with the goal of having wise children that will not bring shame but delight to you and the Lord. Discipline should not be done in frustration because of a lack of attention. It should be done out of the wisdom gained by spending time with one’s children and paying attentions to their ways. Inattention to children breeds abuse; either the child will be excessively disciplined or not disciplined at all.

Pr 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left [to himself] bringeth his mother to shame.

Pr 29:17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

May God grant us fathers wisdom to discipline and train our children in a way that is pleasing to our Lord. James 1:5 should be one of the promises that we cling to, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God , that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

Parenting Article Four: Understanding the Child’s Role in the Family

The Privilege of Parenting      Article 4       By Mark R. Worden

As I continued my study on parenting I began to look at what the Bible says concerning the roles of parenting for the different members of the family. Each role is clearly defined in Scripture and we will begin with the child’s role in being parented. (This section of my study was influenced by a sermon preached by Dr. Mark Minnick)

It is interesting that when God gave the Ten Commandments he specifically directed one command to the family. He did not address the father and the mother, as one might expect, but the child. The Lord said in Deuteronomy 5:16, “Honor thy father and thy mother, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”

Dr. Minnick explained that the word honor literally means, “to be heavy, be weighty.” And that it has the idea to give something or someone their full weight or stature. He then went on to show from scripture what is not honoring to parents and what is honoring to parents.

I. What is not honoring to parents:

a. A mocking attitude,

Prov 30:17, The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.

Deu. 27:16, Cursed be he that setteth light by his father or his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen.

b. A cursing attitude,

Exodus 21:17, And he that curseth his father, or his mother, shall surely be put to death.

c. A rebelling attitude,

Deu 21:18-20, If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.

d. A striking action.

Exo 21:15, And he that smiteth his father, or his mother, shall be surely put to death.

II. What is honoring to parents:

a. An attitude of fearing (respect) them.

Lev 19:2-3, Speak unto all the congregation of the children of Israel, and say unto them, Ye shall be holy: for I the LORD your God am holy. Ye shall fear every man his mother, and his father, and keep my sabbaths: I am the LORD your God.

b. An attitude of glorying in them.

Prov 17:6, Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.

c. An attitude of listening to them.

Prov. 4:1, Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding.

d. An attitude of obedience toward them.

Eph. 6:1-2, Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;

e. An attitude of caring for them in their time of need.

1 Tim 5:3 – 4, Honor widows that are widows indeed. But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to show piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.

These scripture helped me to understand how I was to honor my parents. I trust that they will help you and your children as well. May the Lord richly bless you as you honor your parents and gain the blessing and promise of God of a long live.

Parenting Article Three: Implementing our Goal

Article 3: The Privilege of PARENTING – By Mark Worden    Copyrighted 2002

When I set out to learn from the Bible how to be a parent I first learned from Proverbs 22:6 that our goal in parenting is to start our children on the pathway of developing godly character throughout their lives. It is fine to have a goal, but after that one needs to be committed to the means of accomplishing the goal. My next step was coming up with a practical way of implementing that goal.

Our commitment in parenting is to teach our children what God has taught and is teaching us through His natural revelation (creation) and His special revelation (The Bible).

From Deuteronomy 11:18 we learn that we need to teach our children daily in all the activities of life which God gives to us:

“Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes. And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”

First, to teach our children about God, we need to be growing in our relationship with the Lord on a daily basis. We need to be responding to God’s means of communicating Himself to us. Psalm 19 makes it very clear that there is much that we can learn and teach about God through His natural revelation and His special revelation.

I love what Psalm 19:7-8 says about what the Bible will do for us when we allow it to do its work. It will bring salvation, “The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul.” It will bring wisdom, “The testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.” It will bring joy, “The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart.” It will bring discernment, “The commandments of the LORD are pure, enlightening the eyes.” We would not think of asking our children to skip meals on a regular basis. We feed them daily, often more than 3 times a day. But how often do we neglect to lead them to God’s banqueting table because we have neglected to feast ourselves on the Word of God that is our spiritual bread of life? May God help us to feast on the Word of God and share with our children so that we as families can rejoice in God’s salvation, wisdom, joy, and discernment.

Second, we need to be working not to forget what God has done in our lives and taught us over the years. Therefore, it is good to have special times to remember (memorials) what God has done incorporated into family traditions and during the special times of the year–birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, etc. We need to learn from God’s warning to the children of Israel in Deuteronomy 4: 9. “Only take heed to thyself, and keep thy soul diligently, lest thou forget the things which thine eyes have seen, and lest they depart from thy heart all the days of thy life: but teach them thy sons, and thy sons’ sons.” Psalm 105:5 says, “Remember his marvellous works that he hath done; his wonders, and the judgments of his mouth.” God Himself established certain memorials throughout the year for the children of IsraelOne special tradition that had been passed down to our family from my father-in-law is the reading of the Christmas story from the Bible on Christmas day. I want to continue the tradition in my family by continuing the practice and creating more special times of remembering what God has done for us for the next generation.

May God grant us grace to pass on our faith not only to our children but to our children’s children if the Lord should tarry.

Parenting Article Two — Reaching Our Goal!

Article 2: The Privilege of PARENTING – By Mark Worden   Copyrighted 2002

Reaching our Goal: Application

I made a good start when I discovered that our goal as parents, according to Proverbs 22:6, was to start our daughter Christina on the pathway of developing godly character throughout her life. However, I needed a standard to judge whether or not my child was on the path. I needed to be able to quickly discern when I needed to correct what was coming out of the heart of my child by way of her mouth.

My wife who had been doing most of the child raising up to about age 5 was always talking about kindness, truthfulness, and obedience. Were those character qualities Biblical? As I considered the scriptures I found that they were and that my wife was really doing a very good job. That is why at age 5 Christina respected my wife but had very little respect for me. Things began to change when Dad began to take his God-given responsibilities seriously by doing what did not come naturally to him—correct his daughter in a spirit of love and conviction that she needed to be kind, true, and obedient as the Bible commands. It was not long until kindness, truthfulness, and obedience became the standard of conduct for the whole family. We needed to demonstrate and live up to the same standard to which we were holding our daughter.

The following verses have helped us to work on these character qualities as a family: Be kind–Ephesians 4:32, “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Be true –I Corinthians 13:6 and John 8:32 where we read that love “rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth,” and that “ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” Be obedient– Ephesians 6:1, “Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.” And Colossians 3:20, “Children obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.” These three general rules for conduct seem to cover about everything in our relationships and have helped us to encourage each other to be what God wants us to be.

These character qualities will grow out of a heart of love. The problems comes when we are not being loving—then it is easy to be mean, to tell a lie, to steal, or to disobey. In fact it is not only easy, it is even quite enjoyable. But the Bible reveals that sin only brings pleasure for a short period of time (Hebrews 11:25). As parents we need to guard our own hearts from taking pleasure in disobeying God’s will. As we read in Proverbs 4:23, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

With God’s help, we as parents must demonstrate a life of kindness and truthfulness. We must be examples of obedience to God and to the governmental authorities that the Lord has placed over us. We need to hold our children and ourselves to these standards of conduct. If we sin, we need to confess our sin to God and make things right with our children. If our children sin, we need to correct and discipline them as the Bible instructs us to do in the book of Proverbs (we will consider these passages in future articles, but you may want to look at them now– Proverbs 13:24, 22:15, 23:13-14, 19:18, 29:15, 29:17).

By paying attention to the actions and words of our children, we will be able to train, dedicate, and start our children on the path that God has for them to walk. This is a path of love, which emanates kindness, truthfulness, and obedience. When we hear a word or see an action that is not kind, true, or obedient we must faithfully correct and discipline them in order to keep them on the path that God has promised from which they will not depart when they are old (Proverbs 22:6). We are warned in Proverbs 13:24 “ He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes [early, quickly].” Do you hate or love your children? The way you train and discipline will reveal what is really in your heart. May God grant us the grace we need to love our children with loving discipline as we should.

Magnifying God through bringing Children to Christ

Morning Sermon-  Title: The Blessing of Children

Text: Matthew 19:13-15   Can you see the three attitudes displayed toward children in this passage?

“Then were there brought unto him little children, that he should put his hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them. But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.  And he laid his hands on them, and departed thence.”

Happy Father’s Day! 7 Posts to Encourage Familes!

These articles were originally written for the “Archer” a homeschooling news letter that we wrote for our church’s homeschooling umbrella school where I served as the principle for a few years (2002-2003).  It is my hope that they might be an encouragement to Father’s who are wanting to raise their children for the Lord.

Introduction:  The need for a  Scriptural foundation for parenting!

Post 1-  Establishing our goal in parenting – Proverbs 22:6

Post 2 – Reaching our goals in parenting – Proverbs 22:6

Post 3 – Teaching our children – Deuteronomy11:18

Post 4- The child’s role in being parented

Post 5 – The Father’s role in parenting – Ephesians 6:4

Post 6 –The Father’s role in parenting – Ephesians 6:4 – Part two

Post 7 -The Mother’s role in parenting – Titus 2:3-5

With prayer,  Mark Worden