Magnifying the Lord Through Parenting: Post 5

The Privilege of Parenting
Article 5
By Mark R. Worden

Having now covered the child’s role in being parented in the last Archer, it is now time to begin dealing with us fathers. God has a definite role that He wants us to fulfill in being fathers. Ephesians 6:4 seems to clearly outline the father’s role in parenting.

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

I. Fathers are to be vitally active in child rearing.

“And, ye fathers” It is often a common assumption in our culture that fathers take a back seat or supportive roll as the mother raises the children. However, scripture makes it clear that the husband (father) is the head of the wife (mother) (Eph. 5:21-33). The father, therefore, is responsible and should be active in child training. The husband as the head should work with the wife as a team in training the children, remembering that tasks can be delegated but responsibility cannot. It is pointed out specifically in Eph.6:4 that fathers have the responsibility for nurturing their children in the discipline and admonishment of the Lord. Furthermore, if a father seeks the office of deacon or pastor he is to be one who rules his children and house well (I Timothy 3:12). His children are to be faithful, not accused of wasteful living and insubordination (Titus 1:6).

II. Fathers are to be cautious and sensitive to the child’s response when disciplining.

“provoke not your children to wrath:” Verbal or corporal punishment should be done in a way that each child will not respond with a habitual deep-seated anger that causes them to lose heart or be without courage or spirit (discouraged).

Colossians 3:21, “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”

It seems that parents who discipline through teasing unwittingly discourage their children because they never really know what the parent truly is thinking. The parents’ expectations should be clearly explained to the children and also consistently enforced and held up as the standard of right conduct. In our home there are 3 rules of conduct or behavior which serve as the standard measurement of all behavior: Obedience, Honesty and Kindness.

If any behavior breaches one of these standards our child is disciplined. The book of Proverbs gives us wise counsel and understanding concerning the use of the rod in discipline.

A. Proper discipline is an act of the parents’ love for the child and should be done early (betimes – early / earnestly / diligently, or not put off.) It reveals a lack of true love to put discipline off.

Proverbs 13:24, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”

B. Proper discipline strives to bring the child back from his natural course of foolishness (sin) to a life that reflects God’s wisdom and truth.

Proverbs 22:15, “Foolishness [is] bound in the heart of a child; [but] the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

C. Proper discipline is a parent’s responsibility and has eternal consequences for the child.

Proverbs 23:13 -14, “Withhold not correction from the child: for [if] thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.”

Proverbs 19:18, “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.”

D. Proper discipline is done with the goal of having wise children that will not bring shame but delight to you and the Lord. Discipline should not be done in frustration because of a lack of attention. It should be done out of the wisdom gained by spending time with one’s children and paying attentions to their ways. Inattention to children breeds abuse; either the child will be excessively disciplined or not disciplined at all.

Proverbs 29:15, “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left [to himself] bringeth his mother to shame.”

Proverbs 29:17,  “Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.”

May God grant us fathers wisdom to discipline and train our children in a way that is pleasing to our Lord. James 1:5 should be one of the promises that we cling to, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God , that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”

Copyrighted 2003